16 Comments
User's avatar
Del's avatar

"My marriage broke. I Internet dated. I looked for my prince. But most of the time I looked for myself. I found love and wrote a book to prove it." It turns out, what we search for lies in ourselves, not the other. This simple bit of wisdom is profound. Thanks for laying it out so clearly and, as usual, lyrically.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

So kind of you to quote me and then add such generous words in your comment, Del.

Imola's avatar

"I learned that the answer to the question, “Where in the world is my prince?” lay inside my own search for me. I had to answer the tautological question that begins and ends where it starts: Who am I?" is such an empowering observation, and one which I wholehearedly agree with! I am still single and feel ready for love. But I don't last long on dating apps. Something about them feels too superficial and gimmicky. I always end up having less faith in human kind. But when I go out into the world with my curiosity, open mind (and heart), my experience is very different. I would love a romantic partner, I won't deny it, but I don't feel lonely. And why? Because I enjoy my own company, my writing, poetry, my daughters, quality friends and a simple life that is in line with my values. Thank you for this beautiful reminder Mary! You are one of a kind!

Imola's avatar

Aw. thank you Mary!

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

The art of life: That's you, Imola! Lovely!

Veronika Bond's avatar

Beautiful!

I have a theory on soulmates: Those who believe in their existence have a greater chance to meet them

Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Veronika I have that same theory! Always have...

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

I agree, Veronika! Thank you!

Susie Mawhinney's avatar

Beautifully written Mary, I agree entirely with Veronika, I also believe that everyone has a soul mate somewhere but not everyone is lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

So true, Susie!

Destiny S. Harris's avatar

solid piece

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Thank you, Destiny (great first name!).

Neural Foundry's avatar

The Sleeping Beauty Problem is such a clever way to frame internet dating, where we're constantly recalculating odds without full information. Your insight about self-discovery being the real key resonates deeply. It's intresting how the best relationships don't come from optimizng profiles but from truly knowing who we are. The DH Lawrence poem captures that beautifl tension of remaining distinct while deeply connected.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Such a lovely comment, Neural Foundry. My gratitude to you for taking the time to phrase this so beautifully.

Kimberly Warner's avatar

All of You was such a brilliant film, challenging the very premise of soul-mates and removing the odds of finding them. I loved watching Brett Goldstein hold out for the unquantifiable.

<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Clearly, I did too!