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Kathleen Hemmer's avatar

Reading classics and the Bible help us define who we are at heart. At the moment , I could easily identify with Job. My husband has Parkinson’s, my son is autistic and diagnosed young with dementia. My daughter drinks, this

is somewhat related to her brother and

her own issues . My younger daughter is doing well. I have two wonderful grandsons. Since 1991 , I lost my dear brother, sister and favorite sister in law.

But I am still her putting one foot in front of the other. I never realized how brave we are getting up every day and

facing the world in all it’s glory and terror. Your essay truly rang a note for me. Thank you.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Oh, goodness, Kathleen, what troubles! and how brave you are. Heart to heart on how we live and deal with what happens to loved ones and what we read--and how that latter matters, as well. With gratitude for your words here, Mary

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William Colson's avatar

Deep questions-the deepest. I think we are all here for a reason, like your father asked. But, it’s likely beyond our comprehension. So, just ‘do’ and have faith. ❤️

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Indeed, Bill! 💕

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Imola's avatar

Oh, Mary, what an extraordinary woman you are. This essay devastated me, and made me think of so many things (I'm still processing, so will get back to you on this).

And this sentence: "My study of literature has given me much more than a compilation of names and titles; it has given me, what I hope, is a sensitivity to existence.” I feel it's so true, and my experience as well. I'd like to believe that reading, and writing, literature makes us more humane. I learn so much from you! xox

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Oh such a kindness, Imola: your words here! Thank you so.

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Del's avatar

So much to think about and nod to here, especially what can come from reflection during seemingly hopeless times, if we survive. You do us all a kindness by sharing your continuing journey. Thank you.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

I'm so grateful for such kind words -- and the time you took to write them. 💕

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Joshua Doležal's avatar

A lovely meditation, Mary, and poignant since I am now 49 myself. My children are fanatics about Disney movies, which I would not watch otherwise, and I was quite overcome with the idea in Coco that we die a second death when we are forgotten by the living. It made me mindful of many stories I'm keeping alive, just by remembering those I've lost (but not fully lost). And it made me feel, in sympathy with your point, the urgency of sharing my life with my children, who will likely help me live on in that way the longest -- perhaps, if I'm lucky, also their children. This is not a selfish wish, to be immortalized by others, but a reminder that if life means anything, it's in the sharing that we find it. Which is only reason writing is worth the labor and the sweat. Chris McCandless discovered this too late, that happiness is only real when shared. So, too, of grief and desperation.

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Imola's avatar

I share your belief, Joshua. (And I'm 49 as well...)

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

I do indeed hope to keep my son alive in memory--and my mother, sister and father. And as we say in my tradition, "May their memory be a blessing." Thank you for taking the time to add your thoughts, Josh.

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Esther Stanway-Williams's avatar

I so identify with the observation that we are ‘most wise when in the depths of despair’ as this is exactly how I have experienced the effects of the profound grief of losing my own son. It is a strange gift…one, given the terrible cost, we would never have purchased freely. But it is not nothing. A lovely post Mary, thank you 🙏

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Oh, Esther, we share the experience of loss "out of order." The discovery that wisdom can seem to come in the midst of despair was long to come, as was this essay. I so appreciate your lovely words on this difficult subject for us both, it appears.

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appleton king's avatar

ohhh Mary this bold interweaving of ideas mirror the preciousness (at 24 i would have said your "precociousness" having now read your job query from that time lol) of your own sensibility and one i know from reading (almost ) most of your writing that it is borne of such filtered experience and presented with great empathy and the idea of holding a hopeful heart while leaping into the major ? (why bother to live) while leading into the search with this (and appropriating it for the better greater good)) the unavoidable acceptance, surrender to an ultimately chaotic random unjust fate (despair?) the end game seems to be hmmmm rational despair is no match for the fierce devotion attraction seduction we have for this actual in the moment living, breathing wonder of being alive xo

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

So eloquently and humanely and generously stated, Appleton. I'm grateful for the kindness and appreciate what you mean by "preciousness" in the context of what I wrote when I was so young and returned to, as you put it, for "the unavoidable acceptance." xx

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