What a complete douche! That’s horrible and I am so sorry you held the damage. The current beau is better. He cooked your Thanksgiving cuisine and knows the difference between a sanitation risk and you. Maybe he will gift a stylish vanity set to help prevent transferring bacteria or viruses. (Hint, hint to M) The body is a temple. A dear aunt once told me of all the things you get in life, you only get one set of teeth.
Romance with an expiration date is a farce to me. It may be why I don’t date, and view through gut instinct. I’ve learned my desire given becomes regenerative, and that is a rare match to make. So I be who I am! A gay lion tamer has better odds than myself, as proven.
The seek for love and compatibility served enough lessons through my own experience. Perhaps it is why I have become so skilled at dodging or breaking off the shaft from the arrows or Eros. I have my own set of gray-area mismatches causing wonder in the why at all, though I’ve grown wiser. I’ve learned my deal breakers and the dangers of settling. You, my dear, seem to be doing better with the present tense, so cheers to that.
I must admit, I had my own frying pan to remove from the stove, actually the chaos was more of crawfish boiler intensity. By the time I reached NYC in my mid 20s, I formed an unwavering poker face. What I’ve also learned is regardless of whatever mask I pull, certain arrows can still get through and confronting that which does not degenerate underneath can feel no different than the initial pierce. My stomach spins, opening up a whole other why at all. Signing off, cause this is starting to sound like the journaling I have lined up before my next post. (Watch this become my intro!)
A big hug to you, and if we are ever in the same place and you see that guy, let me know. I no reservations about kneeing him in the groin if you do so desire, or how about a tooth. Cheers, love!
Your hilarious and generous comments always make me feel better! I am most definitely doing better in the present tense. Perhaps one day we'll make a girls' trip to France and track the toothbrush man down. Not sure we'll have the energy for any groin kicking after a few glasses of wine but would be fun nonetheless. 😂
If can terrify a purse thief into abandoning his score, after a hike up a San Francisco slope following a full NYE of dancing and sipping, I can absolutely manage a well warranted groin crush, though a tooth is much more poetic. For certain things, my energy is endless. I will never forget the look on the thief’s face, and all I did was look at him and approach. - It was a great, yet chaotic new year.
Didn't I tell all of you reading this essay by Alicia when I introduced Scenes From a Marriage in my last post on this site that Alicia is an expert on romance and lingerie? And here she is: No lingerie but lots about toothbrushes and the everydayness of commitment. Gotta love this writer! PS: I still think marriage and long term friendship hold us as we get older. xo xo xo
A lovely essay, which reminds me of a girl I was totally besotted with, and who I fantasised about having a long-term relationship with. I asked her to join me for a meal with another couple, and her behaviour was so odd that it was just embarrassing. A sure case of the reality belying the fantasy.
Love this -- full of pithy and funny moments. I'm thinking about that subtitle: "the inner lives we project onto others." One might say that if the relationship is a fantasy, then it's not actually intimate. In that I would respectfully disagree with Ali. This reminds me of a longstanding debate between me and my friends during our college years about whether crushes had anything to do with love. Is the fantasy just Puck's fairy dust -- a spell that wears off -- compared to the more enduring love the blooms between friends? I suppose my view is less binary after nearly twelve years of marriage. I still hold that love is different from fantasy. But even a committed relationship needs a touch of that magic now and again. Thanks for contributing!
Thank you for having me! I actually agree with you, that intimacy goes beyond fantasy. But I do think there’s that moment of time at the beginning of a certain kind of romance where you divulge yourself completely, and it feels like only that person can understand you, and perhaps that feeling settles or transforms over time into something else (similar and just as, if not more, beautiful.) Or you wake up from the delusion and realize the person didn’t get you at all!
As for myself I used to be purely on the head-over-heels romance side of things, but after one too many trainwrecks I learned to appreciate a dose of stability. :) Everything in its time…
This cracks me up. Chapeau.
So glad it made you laugh! Btw when you get back home, you can always go say hi to Olivier. He's at Café de la Presse. 😅
Shall do.
What a complete douche! That’s horrible and I am so sorry you held the damage. The current beau is better. He cooked your Thanksgiving cuisine and knows the difference between a sanitation risk and you. Maybe he will gift a stylish vanity set to help prevent transferring bacteria or viruses. (Hint, hint to M) The body is a temple. A dear aunt once told me of all the things you get in life, you only get one set of teeth.
Romance with an expiration date is a farce to me. It may be why I don’t date, and view through gut instinct. I’ve learned my desire given becomes regenerative, and that is a rare match to make. So I be who I am! A gay lion tamer has better odds than myself, as proven.
The seek for love and compatibility served enough lessons through my own experience. Perhaps it is why I have become so skilled at dodging or breaking off the shaft from the arrows or Eros. I have my own set of gray-area mismatches causing wonder in the why at all, though I’ve grown wiser. I’ve learned my deal breakers and the dangers of settling. You, my dear, seem to be doing better with the present tense, so cheers to that.
I must admit, I had my own frying pan to remove from the stove, actually the chaos was more of crawfish boiler intensity. By the time I reached NYC in my mid 20s, I formed an unwavering poker face. What I’ve also learned is regardless of whatever mask I pull, certain arrows can still get through and confronting that which does not degenerate underneath can feel no different than the initial pierce. My stomach spins, opening up a whole other why at all. Signing off, cause this is starting to sound like the journaling I have lined up before my next post. (Watch this become my intro!)
A big hug to you, and if we are ever in the same place and you see that guy, let me know. I no reservations about kneeing him in the groin if you do so desire, or how about a tooth. Cheers, love!
Your hilarious and generous comments always make me feel better! I am most definitely doing better in the present tense. Perhaps one day we'll make a girls' trip to France and track the toothbrush man down. Not sure we'll have the energy for any groin kicking after a few glasses of wine but would be fun nonetheless. 😂
If can terrify a purse thief into abandoning his score, after a hike up a San Francisco slope following a full NYE of dancing and sipping, I can absolutely manage a well warranted groin crush, though a tooth is much more poetic. For certain things, my energy is endless. I will never forget the look on the thief’s face, and all I did was look at him and approach. - It was a great, yet chaotic new year.
“In my 20s, I used to write at a French wine bar in San Francisco by candlelight.”
I love this. So romantic. Brings back so many memories for me of writing in many cities, San Francisco included, circa 2008-2010.
Those were the days!! I’m realizing since COVID I just haven’t done as much cafe writing. Makes me sad.
Indeed!! I used to love writing in a physical journal at cafe Reggio in the village in Manhattan
That sounds like a dream
Didn't I tell all of you reading this essay by Alicia when I introduced Scenes From a Marriage in my last post on this site that Alicia is an expert on romance and lingerie? And here she is: No lingerie but lots about toothbrushes and the everydayness of commitment. Gotta love this writer! PS: I still think marriage and long term friendship hold us as we get older. xo xo xo
As far as Frenchmen and lingerie, I’ll say they like it matching! 😅
Of course they do!
Lovely
Thank you Amy :)
A lovely essay, which reminds me of a girl I was totally besotted with, and who I fantasised about having a long-term relationship with. I asked her to join me for a meal with another couple, and her behaviour was so odd that it was just embarrassing. A sure case of the reality belying the fantasy.
Oh I want to hear about her behavior!!
Loved this decidedly different kind of post from Inner Life. It worked!
Thank you Andrew! I was a little bit nervous about posting something in a different style. Glad you liked it :)
Love this -- full of pithy and funny moments. I'm thinking about that subtitle: "the inner lives we project onto others." One might say that if the relationship is a fantasy, then it's not actually intimate. In that I would respectfully disagree with Ali. This reminds me of a longstanding debate between me and my friends during our college years about whether crushes had anything to do with love. Is the fantasy just Puck's fairy dust -- a spell that wears off -- compared to the more enduring love the blooms between friends? I suppose my view is less binary after nearly twelve years of marriage. I still hold that love is different from fantasy. But even a committed relationship needs a touch of that magic now and again. Thanks for contributing!
Thank you for having me! I actually agree with you, that intimacy goes beyond fantasy. But I do think there’s that moment of time at the beginning of a certain kind of romance where you divulge yourself completely, and it feels like only that person can understand you, and perhaps that feeling settles or transforms over time into something else (similar and just as, if not more, beautiful.) Or you wake up from the delusion and realize the person didn’t get you at all!
As for myself I used to be purely on the head-over-heels romance side of things, but after one too many trainwrecks I learned to appreciate a dose of stability. :) Everything in its time…