A lot of it has to do with timing. I swore for years that I’d never have kids. It took meeting someone I could imagine parenting with, at a time in my life when I was looking to put down roots. But I can’t resist pointing out that the boy might never have been even you did have kids! I’m thinking of friends who are fathers only to daughters (including the folk artist Greg Brown).
Timing -- which has a lot to do with intention. My advise to younger men that I talk to is that *if* you *want* to have children then you would be well advised to intentionally *seek* a partner that feels like the kind of person that you imagine having children with. Probably good advise regardless really, in terms of choosing partners—but I neither wanted it bad enough nor sought suitable partners, so, no surprise that the 'timing' was never right.
Then again, I'm sure that lots of people seek and find a partner that seems suitable, only to find otherwise farther down the road...
And of course, daughters too... I used "boy" there because he's also me...
I appreciate hearing your perspective on this topic. Two of my brothers made that choice and I never really understood their decision until I read your article.
A lot of it has to do with timing. I swore for years that I’d never have kids. It took meeting someone I could imagine parenting with, at a time in my life when I was looking to put down roots. But I can’t resist pointing out that the boy might never have been even you did have kids! I’m thinking of friends who are fathers only to daughters (including the folk artist Greg Brown).
Timing -- which has a lot to do with intention. My advise to younger men that I talk to is that *if* you *want* to have children then you would be well advised to intentionally *seek* a partner that feels like the kind of person that you imagine having children with. Probably good advise regardless really, in terms of choosing partners—but I neither wanted it bad enough nor sought suitable partners, so, no surprise that the 'timing' was never right.
Then again, I'm sure that lots of people seek and find a partner that seems suitable, only to find otherwise farther down the road...
And of course, daughters too... I used "boy" there because he's also me...
I appreciate hearing your perspective on this topic. Two of my brothers made that choice and I never really understood their decision until I read your article.
Thank you so much Lynn, for reading, and for sharing that. That's exactly what I hope for in sharing my own experience.