Loved this. Really strong writing. Lasch sounds fascinating. We’re in a narcissistic historical moment. This is appropriate. I do wonder though if we’re stepping closer to the edge wherein ‘narcissism,’ due to its general negligent overuse in the culture, has ceased to mean or will cease to mean much very soon. Sort of like the word ‘racism.’ (A now totally fragmented, undefinable word.)
Thank you Michael! Yes, there's a book I saw that I'd like to read arguing that the tendency to diagnose everybody as narcissists is itself the narcissism, essentially. It's one of these ideas that just wreaks havoc in the culture.
Sam, I did read the full Lasch essay on NYRB—fascinating—and long. I'm particularly taken with your view of meditation and of knowing oneself to express compassion. That insight provides a powerful close to your essay. Maybe you're our new Christopher Lasch despite Josh's ghost reference on twitter :).
Lol. Well, I definitely wouldn't want to tweak that angry ghost! One surprise for me in reading that essay is realizing how much better The New York Review of Books used to be. When I was a teenager, that was my image of what a great magazine was; looking at it now, I don't know what I was thinking about. But the Lasch essay is a nice indication of what it used to be - giving a writer the chance to really run wild.
Very interesting! I haven't read Thomas Moore. Love the idea that the way out of the narcissistic vortex is through knowing oneself. That's exactly the idea I was trying to get it. You and Moore put it very beautifully.
Quite a lot of good thinking in that last sentence. I'd like to hear more about those boundaries and inner bulwarks. As you suggest, self-awareness can be crucial to empathic relationship: one must be aware of one's own distortions and triggers to avoid inflicting them on others. I think the defining feature of narcissism is the lack of regard for others, the inability to accept responsibility for anyone else's suffering.
I get a bit obsessed on the idea of narcissism. I like the theory that one basically can't respond to narcissism on its own terms - that any engagement with it just fuels the fire (we experienced that vividly with Trump) - that the only approach is to 'cut line,' guard one's boundaries carefully, and exercise some variety of Calvinist self-restraint. I have this suspicion that the gradual breakdown of Puritan virtue in the American psyche resulted directly in the explosion of narcissism.
Thanks Sam. Not sure it’s within our own powers to escape the ‘narcissistic whirlwind’, as even our recently unleashed AIs mirrored. Truly, what is self-love as distinct from self-regard? Nietzsche was brutally honest on this paradox. I suspect we’re all still stuck in the age of the ‘selfie’. #lovingmyowncomments 🙌🏻 😍🫣
Thank you Adrian! Yeah, I suspect you're right actually, that 'society-wide narcissism' goes beyond our own individual capacities to hold the line against it. I guess I can get a little pastor-ish in trying to put all the weight on personal responsibility and one's inner makeup - but, to be fair, that's the only thing we really have any control over.
But yes, he was brutally honest, and I think you capture that idea succinctly.
It's something for which I hope and fear in the current milieu. The current zeitgeist--especially thinking of politics--made manifest as a will to power would likely be a horrifying thing to behold. In its millenial strain, I imagine it as something that aims for melioration but succeeds only in casting a pall of despair. Millenials, it seems to me, want the world to be a better place for themselves, and for others, but especially for left-millenials (and dragging the older generations with them) they want a performative orthodoxy rather than real change. They would need to overcome their internal contradictions, a want for self-regard ("respect me!") but also a wavering attitude of "be your own self," "don't judge," but then cancelling/shunning either actually bad or simply non-conforming behavior. Perhaps if they didn't grow up with so much of themselves outside of themselves ... in social media....
Thank you Jason! I agree with that critique of millennials, although I guess I'd argue, speaking as one, that we're not all that worse than any other generation (and probably a cut above Gen Z tbh). The Lasch essay is a useful reminder that people were as insufferable in the '70s as we are now.
Loved this. Really strong writing. Lasch sounds fascinating. We’re in a narcissistic historical moment. This is appropriate. I do wonder though if we’re stepping closer to the edge wherein ‘narcissism,’ due to its general negligent overuse in the culture, has ceased to mean or will cease to mean much very soon. Sort of like the word ‘racism.’ (A now totally fragmented, undefinable word.)
Thank you Michael! Yes, there's a book I saw that I'd like to read arguing that the tendency to diagnose everybody as narcissists is itself the narcissism, essentially. It's one of these ideas that just wreaks havoc in the culture.
Sam, I did read the full Lasch essay on NYRB—fascinating—and long. I'm particularly taken with your view of meditation and of knowing oneself to express compassion. That insight provides a powerful close to your essay. Maybe you're our new Christopher Lasch despite Josh's ghost reference on twitter :).
Lol. Well, I definitely wouldn't want to tweak that angry ghost! One surprise for me in reading that essay is realizing how much better The New York Review of Books used to be. When I was a teenager, that was my image of what a great magazine was; looking at it now, I don't know what I was thinking about. But the Lasch essay is a nice indication of what it used to be - giving a writer the chance to really run wild.
I admit it: I didn't know who Christopher Lasch was until you just told me. Interesting enough: I also wrote about narcissism this past week. Have you read this yet? https://ponytail.substack.com/p/jupiter-juno-io-teiresias-narcissus
Very interesting! I haven't read Thomas Moore. Love the idea that the way out of the narcissistic vortex is through knowing oneself. That's exactly the idea I was trying to get it. You and Moore put it very beautifully.
Don't let Moore's association with Oprah curb your interest. There's gold in them hills.
Yes. Good read.
I did read your post: Good work.
Quite a lot of good thinking in that last sentence. I'd like to hear more about those boundaries and inner bulwarks. As you suggest, self-awareness can be crucial to empathic relationship: one must be aware of one's own distortions and triggers to avoid inflicting them on others. I think the defining feature of narcissism is the lack of regard for others, the inability to accept responsibility for anyone else's suffering.
It is delightfully ironic that a Twitter account named "Christopher Lasch's Angry Ghost" exists: https://twitter.com/ghostofchristo1?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
Presumably the same author writes the Substack "Paroxysms": https://paroxysms.substack.com/
That is funny! Glad to see that Christopher Lasch is alive and well.
I tried to write about this a bit in another Substack post - https://castaliajournal.substack.com/p/on-saying-no-to-narcissism
I get a bit obsessed on the idea of narcissism. I like the theory that one basically can't respond to narcissism on its own terms - that any engagement with it just fuels the fire (we experienced that vividly with Trump) - that the only approach is to 'cut line,' guard one's boundaries carefully, and exercise some variety of Calvinist self-restraint. I have this suspicion that the gradual breakdown of Puritan virtue in the American psyche resulted directly in the explosion of narcissism.
good piece
Thank you GD!
Delightful essay.
Thanks Sam. Not sure it’s within our own powers to escape the ‘narcissistic whirlwind’, as even our recently unleashed AIs mirrored. Truly, what is self-love as distinct from self-regard? Nietzsche was brutally honest on this paradox. I suspect we’re all still stuck in the age of the ‘selfie’. #lovingmyowncomments 🙌🏻 😍🫣
Thank you Adrian! Yeah, I suspect you're right actually, that 'society-wide narcissism' goes beyond our own individual capacities to hold the line against it. I guess I can get a little pastor-ish in trying to put all the weight on personal responsibility and one's inner makeup - but, to be fair, that's the only thing we really have any control over.
I could go on about Nietzsche....
But yes, he was brutally honest, and I think you capture that idea succinctly.
It's something for which I hope and fear in the current milieu. The current zeitgeist--especially thinking of politics--made manifest as a will to power would likely be a horrifying thing to behold. In its millenial strain, I imagine it as something that aims for melioration but succeeds only in casting a pall of despair. Millenials, it seems to me, want the world to be a better place for themselves, and for others, but especially for left-millenials (and dragging the older generations with them) they want a performative orthodoxy rather than real change. They would need to overcome their internal contradictions, a want for self-regard ("respect me!") but also a wavering attitude of "be your own self," "don't judge," but then cancelling/shunning either actually bad or simply non-conforming behavior. Perhaps if they didn't grow up with so much of themselves outside of themselves ... in social media....
Thank you Jason! I agree with that critique of millennials, although I guess I'd argue, speaking as one, that we're not all that worse than any other generation (and probably a cut above Gen Z tbh). The Lasch essay is a useful reminder that people were as insufferable in the '70s as we are now.
Very thought-provoking.
Thank you Mike!